Thank You for Not Forgetting Us made me cry. This article which was published in originally in Adoption Week E-magazine is a heartfelt article by an adoptee name J.R.
Thank you to all the beautiful women who, out of love and grief and confusion, seek a better life for their offspring. Thank you for not forgetting us, the children you gave up. It makes a difference.
J.R. does not thank his birth mother for giving him life, insinsuating that she seriously considered an abortion. He thanks birth mothers in general knowing what drove many of us to an adoption decision – grief, confusion and love. We could not forget our children though in most cases.
I confess that I tried as hard as anyone that I know to forget. At the time of my son’s relinquishment, I was very compliant and did as I was told. Or, at least I tried as hard as I could to forget, and just go silently into the night.
Indeed, I did all the “right things.” I never discsussed my son’s adoption or told anyone about his existence. I never searched for him. Yet, I harbored terrible guilt and could not completely forget that he existed. How could anyone ever forget the birth and adoption of a child?
J.R.’s article shows that it matters – at least to him – that he was remembered by his birth mom. Knowing that has to feel good for him. “Does she ever think of me?” is a question that I often hear adoptee wonder about. How could she not, short of a lobotomy?
If you gave birth to a child and then sent them off into the world without you, would you ever stop thinking and wondering about them? Would you miss them and be tortured by the loss? Why does anyone believe that birth parents feel any less? No one seems able to respond to that question.
Further Reading:
The Connection – Adoption – 35 year and 9-11
Photo by Jan Baker 2005 (Me, landing in a meadow, fortunately we missed the cow!)
